Phil is a compulsive obsessive closet comedian who stalks comedy shows and dreams of some day standing on a stage in some backstreet obscure pub and saying something that's actually half funny.
The highlight of his life so far was the time several years ago when he was at a music concert. There was a delay before the final act and the MC asked if anyone had any good jokes. Phil raced up on to the stage and told a joke that actually included the word penis. The joke was well received, which was confirmed by the way that the next music group was suddenly inspired to complete their preparation immediately.
His ultimate ambition in life is complete world domination, but most days settles with getting out of bed by 10am. Phil's IQ doesn't make it out of the double digit range until at least midday, if at all.
Currently single, Phil is always seeking that special lady who has that magic combination and will appreciate him for who he is. But alas, there are not many girls out there who are completely both deaf and blind. He did date a deaf lady one time and found it most amusing to be able to burp or fart in the same room without being busted for it. Older women are good as they are easier to catch (ie they can't run as fast). Not being one for sleazy pickup lines, Phil prefers to go for sophisticated comments such as "I'm six feet tall, but it's seven feet with an erection."
He is however, quite known for his sexual prowess, and ensures that any woman he does have sexual relations with has a good time, no matter what tv show she's watching at the time.
Phil has been extremely active in the Perth comedy industry and has participated in audiences for world renowned geniuses such as Jimoein, Rove McManus and Werzel (ie the big bloke in the Lotto advert on tv). He's also got an extensive background in the television industry, which is to say that over the years he's watched plenty of it.
Being an environmentally friendly person, he makes sure that none of it goes to waste. If any part of his surrounding environment can be eaten then it is done so promptly and efficiently. Fast food takeaway shops are frequented almost hourly to ensure that no food is ever wasted. Phil also makes a substantial contribution to employment in this country by keeping as many pizza delivery drivers occupied as possible. Economists have agreed worldwide that the the international recession of the early 1990s was a result of Phil not eating enough. He also wishes to make his own individual contribution to the war on terrorism by eating all the terrorists' food and making them go hungry instead.